plz talk dirty to me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
