You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
