My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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