YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
