Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
