and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
