Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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