well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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