IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
