never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
