How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
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