do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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