Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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