He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
