he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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