just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
