I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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