we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
