maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
