so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
