you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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