There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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