I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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