She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
