worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
