his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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