i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
