I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
