she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
