im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
