If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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