i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
