Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize