I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
