Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
