he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
