Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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