I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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