I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
