I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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