He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We are all done wearing pants today
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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