I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
