He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
