Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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