Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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