If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
