jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
