Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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