I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
