Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
