its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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